One Foot In Front Of The Other

Today was a much better day, went to class this morning and spent some time around other human beings other than brad and my two dogs. I still had a hard time smiling and joking around like usual but the help of friends made it easier. Brad and I had a little bit of a argument last night about his opinion on thinking I am "milking" this sadness and that I really truly have no right to be upset over not having a baby. I could understand maybe a month or two has passed and I am still down in the dumps but it has only been 4 days and I only skipped class on monday, the day I found out. I have every right to be upset and I know that when I said, "I will never have a baby or I can't have a baby" wasn't true but I am just that, upset. I am tired of the cycles and everything it does to my body so I was venting and letting out some much needed anger. I know the good Lord will bless us with a child whether that is adopting or having one our own, I will have a child and be a mother but right now at this moment in time it's not gonna happen so therefore it is depressing. I received a phone call from Pam today explaining to me why it is they won't allow me to do another cycle this month. According to her Dr. wants me to maybe try some other medication but I told her that I believe my body is just now getting used to this medication and I am getting stronger with every cycle. I don't want to mix it up and try something else, maybe do another cycle on the same medication then if that doesn't work (praying it does though) then I will try a different medication. One thing at a time.